Anatomy of a Kevin Smith Movie:
Sep. 4th, 2006 07:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nigeltdeCAST:
Best Friend One - a bad actor
Best Friend Two - a bad but oddly appealing and charming actor
Girl One - uglyhot
Girl Two - hothot
Jay - Jay
Silent Bob - some guy
New Jersey - New Jersey
Callbacks - Hey, it's that guy!
Best Friend One: I have the kind of intelligence that looks like intelligence but really isn't. I have no sense of humour and am really quite annoying and unattractive, and somehow have two smart and attractive girls desperate for me. I am the centrepiece of the movie even though I have absolutely no forward momentum.
Best Friend Two: I am the one you really like. I'm funny and in no way PC and wierdly asexual even though I spend the entire movie speaking about sex and am totally gay for BF1.
Girl One: I AM FREAKY AND WANT TO CHANGE YOU POOKUMS. I LUFF YOU EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE TOWARDS ME.
Girl Two: I am way radical and BF1 can't deal with it BUT I LUFF HIM even though he is an asshole towards me.
Jay: drugspussycockdrugsmusicdrugssexsexsexsexsexsexsexsex
Silent Bob: ...
Everyone: WE LIVE IN NEW JERSEY!
New Jersey: Establish shot this, motherfucker!
BFs: *have geeky conversation*
Callbacks: Hey, it's me! Remember me! Remember! I was in the other moofies for like three seconds! REMEMBER.
BF2: *is completely, hilariously, offensively foul*
BF1: *freaks out about commitment*
BF2: DUDE I LOVE YOU, WAKE UP TO YOURSELF
G2: I love you BF1 but you cannot make me abandon my unconventional outlook upon life, because I am true to my principles!
BF1: Girl One, I secretly hate you but I'm just going to wait until you catch me doing something horrendous and dump my ass
Jay: drugspussycockdrugsmusicdrugssexsexsexsexsexsexsexsex
Silent Bob: ...
Someone or thing: *gets a blowjob*
G1: *dumps his ass*
BF1: MY LIFE IS OVER
BF2: DUDE, I LOVE YOU, WAKE UP TO YOURSELF!
G2: I LOVE YOU TOO! Fuck my principles, let's make babies!
BF1: My stupid-ass worldview is being torn asunder! I can't deal!
Silent Bob: Wake up to yourself!
Jay: Shut up, you fuck. Drugspussycockdrugsmusicdrugssexsexsexsexsexsexsexsex
BF2: DUDE, I LOVE YOU, WAKE UP TO YOURSELF!!!
BF1: Okay.
AND EVERYONE LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER.
Actually I quite enjoyed Clerks 2 :-)
Best Friend One - a bad actor
Best Friend Two - a bad but oddly appealing and charming actor
Girl One - uglyhot
Girl Two - hothot
Jay - Jay
Silent Bob - some guy
New Jersey - New Jersey
Callbacks - Hey, it's that guy!
Best Friend One: I have the kind of intelligence that looks like intelligence but really isn't. I have no sense of humour and am really quite annoying and unattractive, and somehow have two smart and attractive girls desperate for me. I am the centrepiece of the movie even though I have absolutely no forward momentum.
Best Friend Two: I am the one you really like. I'm funny and in no way PC and wierdly asexual even though I spend the entire movie speaking about sex and am totally gay for BF1.
Girl One: I AM FREAKY AND WANT TO CHANGE YOU POOKUMS. I LUFF YOU EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE TOWARDS ME.
Girl Two: I am way radical and BF1 can't deal with it BUT I LUFF HIM even though he is an asshole towards me.
Jay: drugspussycockdrugsmusicdrugssexsexsexsexsexsexsexsex
Silent Bob: ...
Everyone: WE LIVE IN NEW JERSEY!
New Jersey: Establish shot this, motherfucker!
BFs: *have geeky conversation*
Callbacks: Hey, it's me! Remember me! Remember! I was in the other moofies for like three seconds! REMEMBER.
BF2: *is completely, hilariously, offensively foul*
BF1: *freaks out about commitment*
BF2: DUDE I LOVE YOU, WAKE UP TO YOURSELF
G2: I love you BF1 but you cannot make me abandon my unconventional outlook upon life, because I am true to my principles!
BF1: Girl One, I secretly hate you but I'm just going to wait until you catch me doing something horrendous and dump my ass
Jay: drugspussycockdrugsmusicdrugssexsexsexsexsexsexsexsex
Silent Bob: ...
Someone or thing: *gets a blowjob*
G1: *dumps his ass*
BF1: MY LIFE IS OVER
BF2: DUDE, I LOVE YOU, WAKE UP TO YOURSELF!
G2: I LOVE YOU TOO! Fuck my principles, let's make babies!
BF1: My stupid-ass worldview is being torn asunder! I can't deal!
Silent Bob: Wake up to yourself!
Jay: Shut up, you fuck. Drugspussycockdrugsmusicdrugssexsexsexsexsexsexsexsex
BF2: DUDE, I LOVE YOU, WAKE UP TO YOURSELF!!!
BF1: Okay.
AND EVERYONE LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER.
Actually I quite enjoyed Clerks 2 :-)
no subject
Date: 2006-09-04 12:40 pm (UTC)"I miss my donkey" was a personal favourite. He just looked so sad!
I was also quite charmed by Elias, or whatever his name was. The LotR fan; he was so cutely awkward.