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Jan. 30th, 2005 09:00 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nigeltdeJust got back from seeing Alexander. ARRRRRGH! So frustrated! I went in expecting it to be really abysmal and in some ways it was, and yet in others it had some promise, and I'm just like, oh, the wasted potential! It was at LEAST half an hour longer than it needed to be, and yet, as ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
frostmourne said, that wouldn't have been a problem if it had actually been INTERESTING. But it wasn't! It was just boring and occasionally irritating! And I wasn't disappointed because I had such low expectations but the source material is one of my favourite ever books and so when they got a bit right, I thought, oh! Possibilities! But no.
Thoughts:
-Production design + execution. Really gorgeous. I was thrilled to see Babylon. Costuming and so on was cool, and, IIRC, anally retentive to detail, so yay Stone on that one.
-Beucephalus! MAGNIFICENT. Perhaps a little too tall but short enough really. Gorgeous, GORGEOUS stallion and when he faced off the elephant I sort of melted a bit. However, WTF? He is dead by now! Or at least far too old for that shit. It was a dramatic moment and all, but I was jsut angry at them keeping him alive to kill him so horribly, there was no pathos at all.
-Hephaistion: Haaawt! I wasn't expecting to find Jared Leto so attractive because I've just found him pretty weird-looking in the past, but the longer his hair got the more I was drooling. I liked him much more than I thought I would. I love the way the shots were always framed so he was there, in there, a factor in what's happening even if he has no lines.
-Olympias: Haaawt! Erm, a little OTT but that's Olympias, I guess. I cannot imagine Nicole Kidman, much as I love her, in this role now. Angelina Jolie and the snakees were great fun.
-Bagoas dancing! Awesome! But Bagoas on the whole, eh, too tall and not extraordinarily pretty enough. He's a fantastic character in the book but because we could only see him for a couple of secs, and because we can't hear his internal monologue, he was just this brainless concubine with cow eyes. Meh. I don't think I would have been very pissed if they'd left him out.
That's about what I liked. The rest was shit. Far, far too long. Far, far too much included. Why spend 10 minutes on an assassination plan that needs way more explanatinon? Why say Gedrosia was his greatest blunder and then two seconds later forget about it? Why show Hephaistion fighting with whats-his-name for half and second and then not follow it up? WHY FORCE US TO LISTEN TO POMPUS SPEECH AFTER POMPOUS SPEECH AFTER POMPOUS NARRATION UNTIL WE WANTED TO BURST OUT OWN EARDRUMS?lainy122 commented that it was like being forced to watch Buffy season 7 all over again, without the amusing bits. Why must we see the same scenes over and over again? Ptolomy, Olympias, Alexander and Hephaistion schmoopfests, FUCKING EVE-OF-BATTLE SPEECHES. Why must we have 10 minutes of badly shot battle and aftermath in BLOOD-O-VISION? Why introduce us to character after character and place after place if they're not even going to blip the radar afterwards? WHY HAVE A 20 MIN FLASHBACK IN THE LAST 40 MIN OF MOVIE?
Speaking of battle scenes, for a great warlord, the only two battle scenes they included were Gaugamela and one in India, that were terribly confusing and had no internal story, just hack-and-slash. Watch LotR and learn, Stone! And our gallant leader seemd to spend most of BOTH BATTLES just riding around to somewhere but never getting there. Fire your editor! And also your scriptwriter! And also yourself!
One of my favorite things about the book is the unifying Persia and Macedonia and Greece theme, the way Alexander (with Bagoas's help), began to understand and welcome the people and culture of Persia, and the conflict that creates. One of my other favourite things is the characterisation of Alexander who needs people to love him, his men and his subjects and his friends. BOTH of these were absolutely muddled the fuck up, not presented clearly at all, and it just made Alexander look like a retard.
Which is the crux of the whole thing. Who is this guy and what has he done with the real Alexander? He was not compelling at all, more flaws than man, and yet it kept being shoved down our throats LIEK OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH PTOLEMY WE GET IT that he is so Great. No, Stone, he is a whiny bitch with no self-control. He's not a leader of men, and he's certainly not the Alexander I know. And why, why Colin Farrell? He's a good actor but with the wig and the being ten years too old and the bizarre bursting into tears every second? Argh! So! Frustrated! And my god, the MUSIC. Don't get me started.
In short: train wreck, a veritable how-not-to of directing and writing. But good for Jared Leto perving!
Also finally saw the latest SV. John Pyper Ferguson, oh my god! Criminally underused (has about 5 min of screen time) but still good to see him. Amusingly, plays a psychiatrist/mental hospital doctor.
frostmourne said, that wouldn't have been a problem if it had actually been INTERESTING. But it wasn't! It was just boring and occasionally irritating! And I wasn't disappointed because I had such low expectations but the source material is one of my favourite ever books and so when they got a bit right, I thought, oh! Possibilities! But no.Thoughts:
-Production design + execution. Really gorgeous. I was thrilled to see Babylon. Costuming and so on was cool, and, IIRC, anally retentive to detail, so yay Stone on that one.
-Beucephalus! MAGNIFICENT. Perhaps a little too tall but short enough really. Gorgeous, GORGEOUS stallion and when he faced off the elephant I sort of melted a bit. However, WTF? He is dead by now! Or at least far too old for that shit. It was a dramatic moment and all, but I was jsut angry at them keeping him alive to kill him so horribly, there was no pathos at all.
-Hephaistion: Haaawt! I wasn't expecting to find Jared Leto so attractive because I've just found him pretty weird-looking in the past, but the longer his hair got the more I was drooling. I liked him much more than I thought I would. I love the way the shots were always framed so he was there, in there, a factor in what's happening even if he has no lines.
-Olympias: Haaawt! Erm, a little OTT but that's Olympias, I guess. I cannot imagine Nicole Kidman, much as I love her, in this role now. Angelina Jolie and the snakees were great fun.
-Bagoas dancing! Awesome! But Bagoas on the whole, eh, too tall and not extraordinarily pretty enough. He's a fantastic character in the book but because we could only see him for a couple of secs, and because we can't hear his internal monologue, he was just this brainless concubine with cow eyes. Meh. I don't think I would have been very pissed if they'd left him out.
That's about what I liked. The rest was shit. Far, far too long. Far, far too much included. Why spend 10 minutes on an assassination plan that needs way more explanatinon? Why say Gedrosia was his greatest blunder and then two seconds later forget about it? Why show Hephaistion fighting with whats-his-name for half and second and then not follow it up? WHY FORCE US TO LISTEN TO POMPUS SPEECH AFTER POMPOUS SPEECH AFTER POMPOUS NARRATION UNTIL WE WANTED TO BURST OUT OWN EARDRUMS?
lainy122 commented that it was like being forced to watch Buffy season 7 all over again, without the amusing bits. Why must we see the same scenes over and over again? Ptolomy, Olympias, Alexander and Hephaistion schmoopfests, FUCKING EVE-OF-BATTLE SPEECHES. Why must we have 10 minutes of badly shot battle and aftermath in BLOOD-O-VISION? Why introduce us to character after character and place after place if they're not even going to blip the radar afterwards? WHY HAVE A 20 MIN FLASHBACK IN THE LAST 40 MIN OF MOVIE?Speaking of battle scenes, for a great warlord, the only two battle scenes they included were Gaugamela and one in India, that were terribly confusing and had no internal story, just hack-and-slash. Watch LotR and learn, Stone! And our gallant leader seemd to spend most of BOTH BATTLES just riding around to somewhere but never getting there. Fire your editor! And also your scriptwriter! And also yourself!
One of my favorite things about the book is the unifying Persia and Macedonia and Greece theme, the way Alexander (with Bagoas's help), began to understand and welcome the people and culture of Persia, and the conflict that creates. One of my other favourite things is the characterisation of Alexander who needs people to love him, his men and his subjects and his friends. BOTH of these were absolutely muddled the fuck up, not presented clearly at all, and it just made Alexander look like a retard.
Which is the crux of the whole thing. Who is this guy and what has he done with the real Alexander? He was not compelling at all, more flaws than man, and yet it kept being shoved down our throats LIEK OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH PTOLEMY WE GET IT that he is so Great. No, Stone, he is a whiny bitch with no self-control. He's not a leader of men, and he's certainly not the Alexander I know. And why, why Colin Farrell? He's a good actor but with the wig and the being ten years too old and the bizarre bursting into tears every second? Argh! So! Frustrated! And my god, the MUSIC. Don't get me started.
In short: train wreck, a veritable how-not-to of directing and writing. But good for Jared Leto perving!
Also finally saw the latest SV. John Pyper Ferguson, oh my god! Criminally underused (has about 5 min of screen time) but still good to see him. Amusingly, plays a psychiatrist/mental hospital doctor.
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Date: 2005-02-01 09:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-01 09:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-01 01:12 pm (UTC)Who knows? Maybe tomorrow I won't be tired!
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Date: 2005-02-01 02:25 pm (UTC)