A Modern Farcical Tragedie. In Three Acts.

[nigeltde]

THE SCENE: Jessie's work: the lotto machine.

THE PLAYERS: JESSIE; GUY (regular customer, always mild and sweet and polite, about fifty); JESSIE'S DUMBFOUNDED, AWKWARD SILENCE.


ACT ONE:

JESSIE: Howdy!

GUY: Hello.

JESSIE: That's $2 thanks. Let's see if we can win it back like before!

GUY: Yeah. Hey, can I ask you a question, and you can tell me to piss off if you like?


ACT TWO:

JESSIE: Uh, sure.

GUY: Do you have a boyfriend?

JESSIE: Actually, I have a girlfriend.

GUY: Oh.

JESSIE: Mmmhmmm.

GUY: That's SWEET! Wow, that's SWEET!

JESSIE: Um, yeah. Yeah, she is pretty sweet.

GUY: No, that's SWEET! You know, it's always been my fantasy to see two women together.

JESSIE'S AWKWARD, DUMBFOUNDED SILENCE: ...

GUY: But I've only ever seen it on video. I've never seen it in real life.

JESSIE'S AWKWARD, DUMBFOUNDED SILENCE: ...

GUY: Wow, that's sweet.

JESSIE: Uh.

GUY: I'm gonna go outside for a smoke.

JESSIE: Okay.


ACT THREE:

GUY: Well, I had my cancer stick. Eh!

JESSIE: It's not a winner, I'm afraid.

GUY: Yeah. Oh well. Back to work. But that was so sweet what you said before!

JESSIE'S AWKWARD, DUMBFOUNDED SILENCE: ...

GUY: See you later!

Comments

[cccccontroversy.livejournal.com]

...Wow.

[nigeltde]

Yeah, it was a totally shameless performance, I've never encountered the like.

[avarine.livejournal.com]

omg that is so lulz but so gross. you poor thing! and you said he is a regular??

[nigeltde]

I know! I didn't know whether to laugh or be creeped out. In the end I did both :-D And he works at the hospital so I see him several times a shift! I *never* would have picked him to be so gross!

[avarine.livejournal.com]

do you reckon he asked you if you had a bf with the intent of asking you out? it sounds as if he did.

[nigeltde]

Well, he has a wife, I've met her! I think he might have asked on behalf of one of the boys in his department? Or he's a perv.... 0.o Some of the guys that work there are seriously pervy and gross, I just never pegged him for one.

[ecce-homosexual.livejournal.com]

He and I discussed it but I can't believe he went through with it-- for a packet of cigarettes!

But really, what balls! You kind of have to respect that.

[ecce-homosexual.livejournal.com]

Correction: perving rules

[ecce-homosexual.livejournal.com]

I've given this some thought: the better part of me condemns such behaviour while the majority finds it endearing; if that's wrong then allow me to insert an apology.

Insert.