have ya'll seen this one?

Incidentally I surprise myself in that my off phase in my regular lj/dw on/off cycle has lasted so long but I still exist to read and love all y'all. Things have been happening, took a break from uni to work full time for the next couple of months, bumface and I have mutually and amicably decided to split, I have seen the best movie of the year so far (A Single Man), twice, I did a beautiful clean reinstall on my laptop, Karmic over my ancient version of Hardy and my laptop runs SO MUCH BETTER, and I have hosted a TUPPERWARE PARTY.

I am certain that the on phase has coincided directly with the return of Supernatural so sucks to be you guys.

spn 515

Of course you couldn't understand Dean. You've never been in love, never told someone about your secret regrets and the darkest and most awful things you've ever done, never cried in front of them, never trusted them with your life, never been jealous of their friends, never worried you were bad for them, never let them go because you thought it was best for them. You've never had ugly high-stakes fights with someone, never forgave them even when you shouldn't, never defended their honour, never chosen them over other people. You've never put yourself in harm's way for someone, hurt yourself for them. Died for them, killed for them. Never thought life wasn't worth living without them.

You've never thought the height of awesome was just chilling with someone, never said something only they would understand, never teased them to the point of insanity, never laughed with someone, shared a private joke with them, shared history, based your happiness on their presence, constructed yourself in relation to them. You've never made a fool of yourself to cheer someone up, never taken care of someone when they were sick or heartbroken. You've never treasured a gift someone gave you, never treasured the gift of time spent with them. You've never placed all your best hopes in someone, never tried to make the world better for them, never tried to make yourself better for them.

You've never been the focus of someone's world, never been the reason they get up, never made them distraught at the thought of losing you. You've never had someone want to protect you, never made someone heartsick and vengeful at the sight of your pain. You've never made someone feel safe or needed, never been the only person to listen to them, never been the only person they could trust, the only person they could rely on. You've never had someone know you utterly and completely and still believe in the best parts of you.

Oh Dean darlin you are so ridiculous.