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How to Have an Annoying, Oddly Fulfilling, Unlucky/lucky, Blissfully Consumerish Afternoon in Thirteen Easy Steps.

Step One: Leave work. Go shopping for birthday presents. Compare prices. Troop. Traipse. Annoy people with your ignorance.
Step Two: Accidentally go to JB Hi-Fi and spend a billion dollars on discounted DVDs and BOSTON LEGAL SEASON ONE (motherfuckers!).
Step Three: Troop. Traipse.
Step Four: Accidentally go to Pulp Fiction Comics.
Step Five: Go back to the store you started at.
Step Six: Buy present. Rearrange bags to fit everything in.
Step Seven: Go to bus stop. Put bus tickets in pocket for easy access. Rummage delightedly through purchases.
Step Eight: Go back to shop to get DVD you left behind.
Step Nine: Leave shop. Drop receipt. Bend down to pick it up.
Step Ten: Return to bus stop.
Step Eleven: Go back to footpath in front of shop. Look around on ground for bus tickets that fell out of your pocket when you bent down before. Pick them up.
Step Twelve: Return to bus stop in time for three o'clock bus.
Step Thirteen: Home. Coffee.